The one right in front of you

Recently, out here in the Dominican I have been able to help 2 men with surgeries that they would otherwise could not of had.

The first gentleman, Willie, had a massive debilitating hernia. He was unable to work and unable to provide and care for himself. He came asking me for help. He came to me. I didn’t go looking for him.

Fortunately we have a great private clinic here in the town, and so I took him there for a consultation. The public hospital is poorly equipped and you have to go elsewhere to get your scans and tests all done. The doctors there do their best but with such limited funding, the public medical sector is in a terrible state.

So, Willie ended up at the private clinic with me, and we managed to get him his surgery done within a week and at a cost of two hundred and fifty seven pounds. Boom. Life changed.

Man 2, Chorlo, had a life threatening brain condition. He came to me, telling me about his dizziness and …long story short, we ended up getting a brain scan done at the private clinic. The results showed 15 parasites in his brain, as well as cysts and an excess of fluid in his skull. Without treatment and surgery he would die. Chorlo is a 39 year old father of 6. Sole provider for his family.

Chorlo's operation was going to cost a lot of money. Brain surgery does. So, Chorlo sat there in the hospital, telling me how God was going to provide and how he wasn’t worried…. I on the other hand was a wee bit stressed at the expense ahead of me. Hmm… where was my faith?!! So, God did provide, through many amazing people in several countries, within a week we had enough money and the surgery went ahead. Right now Chorlo is healing up nicely.

Why do I tell you these two stories? Because this week so many people have been telling me how great I am and how kind I am – where actually I’m not really. Yes, I helped these two men, and yes I clearly saw God provide for them and was honored and humbled to be a part of that. BUT it wasn’t me. I didn’t go looking for people to help medically, they both came to me. They were both there, right in front of me with a real, genuine need.

People often ask me how I decide who to help. I never know how to answer that because I really don’t feel that I do choose who to help. I pray for God to guide me and give me wisdom, and then I head out the door and see who I meet that day. Sometimes there is no one in any particular need, but even then we all need human compassion, kindness, love and acceptance.

So that is what I have been thinking about. How our responsibility to God and to humanity is to love the one put in front of us. That’s it. Who is my neighbor? The one right in front of you. That is who we have to love. The one right there, the one you maybe see all the time. Thats who God wants you to get involved with and love and be the hands and feet of Jesus too and with. The one right in front of you. It wont always be as dramatic and exciting (and scarey) as a brain surgery…but it will always be as exciting and important as a human being knowing that another human being cares about them.

Jesus made it all fairly simple really – love God and love your neighbor as yourself. He even told us why – John 15 – so that my joy may be complete in you!

Its so true, showing love, sharing love and having compassion on and for each other really does bring me joy. Jesus was telling the truth. If you don’t think so, I challenge you this week to put it to the test. Have love for those around you and see how you feel!!

Helping without Hurting

It's been a while since I wrote...but no one has complained so I think thats ok. Probably better not to write unless I have something to say hey...!

So my thoughts at the moment are on how do we really help people? I know we are called to Love people - in the truest sense of the world - see 1 Cor 13 for the real definition of love... and that is a big massive challenge to all of us, no matter where we live! But my struggle at the moment is how do we help people living in poverty, in a really helpful way?

Reading books like When Helping Hurts and Toxic Charity as well as seeing the impact on villages here from short term mission teams and longer term missionaries- including myself- has given me much food for thought. I assume that we are all just working to the best of our knowledge, wisdom and ability and I dont mean to be critical of anyone - we all have to be accountable to God for our actions, right?  I also had to learn not to be critical of myself for precious mistakes!But... how do you really help without accidentally causing harm?

Harm can be caused by making people dependent on US, the ones who can meet the needs. I dont think we mean to do this, but helping people does feel good. You do get to feel happy at being able to be involved in helping a girl to see again. You feel like you have a purpose and you feel good. But sometimes this feeling good can come at a great cost to someone else - without us even meaning too! Like any welfare or benefit system, things can be abused and its up to the missionary or aid worker to try and distinguish from a real, real real, need and a want.

Let me explain a little - in 2012 I thought I was helping people when I distributed some beds in Esperanza village. I had seen people sleeping on floors, or sleeping with bits of metal spring digging into them, crammed 4 to a bed etc. I thought it was a good idea to help by buying a dozen beds. A dozen...for a community with 264 homes in.... hmm. I didnt think through the impact of neighbours being envious, or the bare fact that a bed doesnt really change your situation in life all that much. Im not saying no one should ever buy beds - Im sure there are many cases where a bed is a really great help to a community member. Its not so much about the individual who receives the bed, its about the rest of the community - its about the damage to those who didnt get one and the change of their mindset from "how can I buy a bed' to 'how can i get HER to buy me a bed.' I still have people asking me for beds now, 2 years later - even though for two years I have been saying that I dont have money for beds. 2 years ago, 12 beds changed some peoples mentalities... even some of the people that I did get beds for are asking for another one! It's not about gratitude, its not about me not wanting people to ask for beds - its about the village mindset that now seems to be that I will buy the beds. I did that. I caused that by buying the beds! I took away the responsibility.

I dont know if that makes sense to you, if you havent ever had to think about these things then it might not. But really, real help has to be help that is aimed at the whole of a community, that improves the lives of everyone. SO for example the birth certificate scheme - it doesnt help very much if I randomly go and select 40 people from the village and get them a birth certificate. That causes stress and anxiety and desperation in everyone that wasnt in the magical 40. Instead I have to follow a process - I will always try to get the certificates for the top year group in the village school. Parents of children who are in the first year come to me desperately wanting their child to get their certificate - I explain the process and they seem to relax. Following a rule helps.

2013 graduating class with their birth certificates.

All that said, its not always that straight forward. Right now I am trying to think of how I could help some of the elderly in the village. These are thin, old men - some of whom have no family around to help them. I would love to open some kind of feeding program for them, providing a simple meal. My concern is though that this will then take away their independence. Right now no one is starving - everyone is finding a way and everyone has food. If I create a program then people loose their independence and responsibility and become dependent on my help - which ultimately is not as helpful to them or the community. Imagine if I open a feeding program for them, they let their gardens go to waste as they no longer NEED to work in them to feed themselves. Then after a year my funding runs out - Sorry guys, no more food... their gardens are done. They no longer have the land. They no longer have a means to provide for themselves and they are now dependent on anyone and everyone. All because I didnt think and just jumped in with my big warm heart.

There are always exceptions, there are a few people that the village leaders have asked me to help - and i do so willingly, exceptional cases like people who are very sick and cant grow their own vegetables etc.

It's a bit like stepping back a few hundred years! Many of the older men work their gardens and grow just enough to eat.

I think that what Im trying to learn right now is how to help in a long term way. How to move from helping individuals to helping a whole community. How to think more with my head and less with my heart but also being open to God and to those Exceptions that come along!

Trying to make sure that the programs I put together for the mission teams that I lead are following these ideas too - helping, not hurting. Helping communities, building real relationships and seeing development happening.


I also want to acknowledge that the things I have said here and the examples I have used are specific to the work I am doing in the Dominican - and to the community I work with. I am sure that across the world there are many feeding programs that are totally needed and without which people would starve. This is not one of those communities though. As I said, I dont wish to criticise anyone elses work, I am just reflecting on my own little life lessons thus far!

Ah its fun! But sometimes I really dont know what Im doing! Shhh, dont tell!!

Reflecting on the adventure

So...I've just celebrated 4 years in the Dominican! I put a post on facebook and received nearly 200 likes- which I am choosing to take as a good thing and not as a sign that nearly 200 people in the UK are glad they don't have to see me!!

Anniversaries, new years, birthdays and important dates in our personal lives are usually a time when we stop and take stock - we cast our little minds back over the last year/decade etc and reflect on Life. Sometimes we reflect with sorrow or shame, other times with regret, other times (hopefully) with joy and excitement at what the last few months have held for us.

I think its great to think.

Then, most of us turn our minds towards the future, the great abyss of time spreading out before us... What will the next 4 years hold? Sometimes thinking about the future is thrilling, other times freaky.

Well, this week I've been thinking how amazing it is to not have a clue! If I had known in 2009 when I got on that plane to come on a 2 week mission trip to the Dominican that 4 1/2 years later I would be living there I would honestly of never come.
BUT
Im so glad I did.

 I agreed to come for 8 months and I refused to talk about the future. 8 months felt like an eternity on day 1, getting off that plane, speaking no Spanish and knowing no one.

But now, with the beauty of hindsight, I am so glad that I came, so glad that I dared to live, that I was obedient to what I believed God was calling me too. I have had some of the most amazing, humbling, exciting, terrifying, hilarious and challenging experiences of my life in the last 4 years.

Being obedient to God and coming to the DR has given me an opportunity to love so many people, to help so many, to care for so many and to share life with so many. God has enabled me to meet hundreds of people from all over the world on mission trips, to speak into each others lives, to share and to walk with each other. God has allowed me to serve the local people of the Dominican in so many varied and unplanned ways! I am constantly amazed that even now no two days are ever the same. Jesus promises us that he came to bring us Life in all its fullness (John 10v10) and that as we learn to love one another God's Joy will be complete in us (John 15 v 9-14). This is certainly my experience here in the DR.

Living a different life is fun, but it also isn't without its costs - not to be negative, but there are some things that are really hard about being in a different culture to your own. For the most part though, I am truly thankful for the opportunities that I have and the life I get to lead.

Sometimes living here is exhausting - today Ive taken the day away from the village, because the constant demand from everyone for attention and help wore me out this week. I've learnt though that when I feel worn down I have to take a day away and recharge. Im no use to anyone if I am exhausted. It can be hard to know who to help and how - it can be hard to know what help is really needed. It can be frustrating and exhausting - but then I remind myself of the situation of the people I am working with - people who struggle for their daily food, who struggle for everything. People who live on less than I spend on a snack. I will never know what it is to live in the poverty that they live in, I will never truly understand that - but I have a better idea than I used too. That teaches me not to judge people for making choices that I perceive to be unwise - not to be frustrated but also not to give up trying to help people make wise decisions.

Life is a big adventure, and Im loving the adventure that Im on. Im so thankful for good friends here in the DR, they make the adventure even more fun! I love my life here so much, although I do miss people from the UK and that can be hard, but with the wonders of skype and facebook the world isnt as big as it used to be!!


I just wonder, is God calling you to do something different? Not necessarily to move thousands of miles away to live on a small Caribbean island... but maybe to love someone that you struggle with? To be obedient to Him in some way? Its worth it! Its an amazing adventure, the life of faith!

So... reflections over, its time to get on with the next bit of the journey!!
God bless y'all for reading!!

Inspiring people

Next month will be 4 years since I moved to the DR. I have aged, physically and mentally and maybe even emotionally! I have grown old. I have experienced more in these 4 years than in the 26 before it. I have seen more, smelt more (as in stunk and inhaled....), touched more, loved more and been blessed more. It has been such an amazing journey. It has been a blast. I have loved it and continue to love it. I never really know what my day will entail - as much as I plan and think I know...! I am continually amazed at the people I get to meet and the inspiring stories that I get to hear. Stories of survival, strength, perseverance, love and faith.

Last Friday morning I met an inspiring young man. He was a patient in the public hospital, a young Haitian guy about 28 years old. He was lying in his bed, wearing a really awesome hat, and he had the biggest smile I have seen in a long time. I went over to talk to him, and he told me his story. He was a motorbike taxi driver and he had been working one evening, collecting passengers and driving them where they want to go on his motorbike. These moto taxis are very common here and are a pretty cheap method of public transport. So this guy, lets call him Elmond, was working one night and he got a phone call from another moto taxi guy asking him to go pick someone up, So off Elmond  went. He drove the passenger where they wanted to go and then asked for the 25 pesos he was owed. 25 pesos is about 35p or 50 cents. The passenger took out a knife and stabbed him, a big long wound in his front, from about hip level up to near his heart. For 35 pence. Elmond showed me the wound. It was nasty and he is fortunate to survive. 

What amazed me about Elmond was his smile. If that happened to me I dont know if I would ever smile again, but there he was, just 2 days later smiling at us. He wanted us to pray for him, so we did and as we did I had a feeling that he might try to get revenge on this person. When we finished praying I asked him what he was going to do about the person. He told me that he wasnt going to do anything because God saw everything and God would judge the man and take care of him. No evil plans of revenge there then!! He told me that God lived in him and he would leave it to God to take care of the man. 

Amazing. 

Pray for your enemies and those who persecute you. Pray for our friend Elmond. I changed his name, but God knows exactly who Im talking about ;) 

So, another inspiring man to add to my list of inspiring people. 

Oh, do you remember Danielson with the thumb infection that I took to hospital last summer? I saw his again last week and his thumb is kind of squished looking but clean and fully functioning. $100 well spent then hey!!

I hope you are inspired by Elmond to love those you struggle with, to be gracious and to realise that God is the judge. For Elmond, his injuries will mean he has no income, no benefits and no money until he heals up, which will probably be a good few months. What a gracious guy. 

Be inspired. 

Welcome Home - have an orange....

Look at my magnificent welcome home gift!! Yes, Its an ORANGE!!

This orange made me smile more than any orange ever has before though! And I feel very welcomed by it...


After 7 weeks away, visiting friends, family, supporters and churches in England, I headed back to the DR. Typically, I got caught up in the Polar Vortex in New York and my flight was cancelled...so far thats cost me $350 dollars...which Im fighting to retrieve...so my journey back took 61 hours door-to-door, and was a little irksome, but hey ho. I was safe. Cold, but safe. Ive never experienced -27 c before, and hope to never experience it again! I wonder if it would of been any less painful if I had winter clothes, instead of Dominican ones...

Anyway, I got back feeling exhausted and popped out to get some dinner. I was met by the security guard who looks after the houses around mine. He was delighted to see me, shocked at how white I am and proceeded to present me with this, welcome home orange! How sweet!

People have been so excited that Im back! Its really lovely. Random motorbike men in the town are all shouting their hellos to me, and its a little bit like being a celebrity!!  It wont last long, so let me enjoy it while I can!!

I went up to Esperanza on Thursday and was met by some of the youth football team, desperate to show me their latest trophy. I love how excited the boys get by football - its teh same all over the world hey! Apart from maybe at the north pole....maybe...? Ah, the beautiful game...

Then Evalina came to see me, she is one of the loveliest ladies I know. She came marching over and demanded to know how my Mother was, my Father, my Brother and if I had been in church while I was away. Once she was reassured that I hadnt Backslidden in my homeland and fallen into those dangerous English Ways, she was quite happy again.
Phew, Im glad I hadnt fallen away....!!!




The first conversations are always interesting to me. 2 young men from the village came over to ask if I had a bible with me - thank God for the bible app... they wanted to know what John 16 v 3 said,. which if you go read it (go on, go look it up) you will see makes little sense, and when read with v1-2 as well is slightly worrying... fortunately it turned out they meant John 3 v 16!!

Just one more photo for ya today! This is Sandra and I. Not Sandra from Aguas Negras, Sandra from Esperanza. She decided that my hair was so terrible she wanted to cut it off... I declined her kind offer and instead allowed her to put it into pig tails... classy hey.









So, Im back, and the honeymoon will soon be over. This morning I decided it was time to get rid of all the dust and dead insects, so spent a good 4 hours cleaning by little apartment! I had some interesting uninvited dead house guests to dispose of - sorry there are no photos!!

I start teaching English classes in Esperanza on Monday. Its been a while since I taught English, but Im quite looking forward to it. Im having 3 separate classes, based on ability.

Ok, time to go have a shower. I have no hot water, but I guess thats ok, it is 29 degrees right now...

Bye bye World!!
I'll be back!

DIstance Makes the Heart...?

Distance makes the heart….what?

It’s funny how distance makes things seem rosier isn’t it! Often when Im in the DR I have fond memories of England. I contemplate England’s beauty, lovely people, fantastic food and characterful pubs. However, once I’m here I’m conscious of grey skies, dark mornings, dark evenings and not very many views to take in! Added to that the mad frenzied look in people’s eyes as they enter the Christmas Season… insane panic shopping, millions of parties, carol services, mince pies and general hectic business which seems to overwhelm the nation from mid November (when I arrive…) through to Dec 27^th!

Then when Im in England I think about the DR and miss it’s sunshine, forgetting how horrendous the humidity and heat can be mid summer and how I used to dream of needing a duvet and hoody again! I pine away for the DR’s beaches (which I honestly hardly ever go too.) I miss the lovely supermarket and the friendly people who like to chat to me wherever I go. I forget that I have to speak Spanish there, I forget that sometimes I get weary of the repetitive conversations about my marital status and lack of children… I forget that actually its quite nice to be unnoticed sometimes.

Anyway, I have come to realize that no matter where in the world there will always be things that I miss, things that I don’t, people that I miss and people that I need a little break from! Being colourblind, I cant see pink but I definitely have the ability to see the world through rose tinted glasses! Or maybe the grass is always greener… don’t ask me, Im colourblind!

 Its strange to feel homesick for a country that has become home but isn’t your original home! It’s nice though, to feel like Im looking forward to being back on the Island that God has drawn me too. To be fair, I don’t really get homesick for anywhere, I just have moments of missing a person who happens to be 6000 miles from where I am.

That being said, I am having a nice time in England. I spent the first few weeks travelling around a bit and speaking at different churches and groups – talking about the work of Mission Direct and the work Im doing in Esperanza Village. People have been so kind to me, and Ive been amazed at how many little ‘coincidental’ meetings there have been with other people who have links to the Dominican too.

People have shown such interest in the work that God is leading in the DR, and it amazes me time and time again when people donate towards the work, or want to pray for me and the work. I have been moved many times by people’s interest and heart for people they have never met but are family with – God’s family is massive! Elderly people who want to take information to pray for young families in Esperanza – knowing that their prayers are so important. Its just been amazing to see my two worlds come together through the love and compassion of people willing to pray. Very humbling to be a part of.

Anyways, its nearly Christmas, Im looking forward to spending some time with my family before I hop back over to the DR in early January. Looking forward to being back there, to being told how white I am again and constantly being asked if I am ill… ‘no, we just don’t have the sunshine in England’ is my usual response. Almost true….

I hope and pray that 2013 has been a year where you and I have learnt new things to take with us into 2014. I pray that God will continue to teach, shape and mould us all as we try to love and serve Him and those around us. I hope that 2014 is a year where we all draw closer to God and learn more about Him and His heart for the world around us. I am just full of hope for the year and years to come. No one knows what the next year will bring, and that can be really scarey, but with those rose tinted glasses and a little faith in a great God, I know that whatever may come it will be an adventure! 

2013 - the best bits!